How to Write a Blog Post (The Frustrating Way)
Step 1: Idly check your blog and realise you haven't posted in an embarrassingly long time.
Step 2: Resolve to remedy this problem by dedicating an hour to writing something.
Step 3: Waste that hour scrolling through Pinterest for some inspiration.
Step 4: Sit back down at your computer a few days later and tell yourself that you will write something.
Step 5: Get two paragraphs in, realise your writing something you've already written (changing the character's name doesn't mean the plot is unique) and delete everything.
Step 6: Read back through your older blog posts and cringe like you have never cringed before, then wonder if you should just delete everything.
Step 7: Realise that everything you have ever written is sad and mopey.
Step 8: Decide to write something happy instead to show that you really aren't as miserable as you sound.
Step 9: Remember why you don't write happy things. Writing happy things is hard. Before you know it, you've killed the main character's mother, got him stranded in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and given him a terminal illness.
Step 10: Start again
Step 11: Finally, in a flash of rare inspiration coupled by having the computer to yourself and time on your hands, write something you believe to be half decent.
Step 12: Come to terms with the fact that it is miserable and basically the same as everything you have posted on your blog.
Step 13: Don't proof read or edit it, just find a nice picture, come up with a pretentious and irritatingly vague title, and post it.
Step 14: Repeat.
Top Tip: If you want to make your blogging experience even more realistic, between steps 4 and 5 you should write a mini essay on how you hate writer's block and yourself for getting writer's block. It's quite cathartic and, if your savvy about it, you can turn it into a poem.
