In Defence Of Marmite
In defence of Marmite, my life long friend
My childhood in a pop art jar of reds and yellows and browns
My ray of light that breaks through the oppressive cloud of early mornings.
Marmite does not deserve all the hate for being salty and unattractive and grim
Because it's not.
Let me repeat that: it is not.
Those people who say it is, do not have the refined taste buds of the truly British.
They have been left behind by the evolution of good taste
and are now stuck with overly sweet jam to put on their toast.
To make up for their evolutionary disposition, they bully pure, beautiful Marmite
Condemning it to a sad existence at the back of the cupboard.
Marmite does not deserve such cruelty
Such hate
Because despite its taste and texture
It's still better then nothing at all.
So be proud of your Marmite
Treasure it
Worship it
Because naked toast is the true tragedy of breakfast time.
